I Wonder If He Knows

…….

I wonder if he knows

That not a day goes by when I don’t think about him

And the mere thought of him

Overwhelms me with strong emotion

I wonder if he knows

That my heart beats several beats throughout the day just for him

I wonder if he knows

That his mere existence makes me eternally grateful

That God loves me enough to ensure

That no harm comes to his precious head

I wonder if he knows

That every day when I dropped him to school

I would watch him walk away or skip away

Trying not to be late

And pray with all my might that angels surround him throughout the day

I wonder if he knows

That the reason I constantly take pictures and videos when he’s around

is because when he’s not around

they are all I have of him

I wonder if he knows

How special he is

How precious he is

How golden his heart is

How intriguing his mind is

How handsome he is

How priceless he is

To me

I wonder if he knows

That no matter who else is added to my life

He will always hold a piece of heart

There will always be a spot there reserved especially for him

I wonder if he knows

That since the midwife placed him in my arms 16 years ago

He has had his big sister wrapped around his baby finger

I wonder if he knows

That I remember

And fervently treasure each and every moment we have ever had…

The times when I would eat some of his baby food while I fed him

Or the times I would just lie next to him and watch him sleep

To the times I wanted to hold him and shake him

To the times he made me cry

To the times I made him cry

To the times he made me laugh

To the times I made him laugh

To the nights I fell asleep next to him and he snored in my ear

To the moments when he hugged me with his little arms

And those moments when he told me the most beautiful things I ever heard anyone say

All those moments took my breath away…

I wonder if this kid knows

That he teaches me how to love

Unconditionally

Patience in love

Pain in love

Triumph is love

Beauty in love

I wonder if my Bubba knows

That his Tita will always love him

That somewhere in this world he always has a fan

That someone is always on his side

Thinking of him

Praying for him

Wishing for him…an abundant life

With Jesus at the center

I wish I could protect you from everything, but I can’t

I wish I could squeeze you whenever I wanted

I wish I never ever told you good bye or even “see you later”

Bub, I just want you to know

Your sister loves ya.

It’s a little insane.

Crazy love, that’s what they say.

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