While You Were Sleeping…

Genesis 2:21-22 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib…
So I was made from a rib. Not just any rib, but from my husband’s rib. While the Lord God caused Him to sleep, He formed me from him (my husband).…
Without distractions from “Adam,” God made Eve (for Adam). So my journey to womanhood becomes the process of being formed by God for the purpose for which I was created…
Dear Adam, while you were sleeping…While you were sleeping I was being raised by two God-fearing parents who taught me that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; and so I held on to it. I believed wholeheartedly in our God since I knew myself, and I didn’t doubt. Though at times I did not fully understand Him or me or why He created me. However, I took Him everywhere with me. His Holy Spirit and yours were my company. I went to school with Him- He helped me to be top of my class. I went to church with Him. He gave me the gift of dance and song, and so I used it to glorify Him. I did as I was taught. I took Him everywhere.I was sure I’d never stray. I was sure I wouldn’t sin. I was sure that as surely as He’d taken me through high school that He would lead me through college and beyond.
I thought I would meet you there…at college. I thought that was where He’d introduce us; and so when I ran into someone, I thought he was you. But the encounter wasn’t what I expected. You see, Adam recognized Eve immediately. But he didn’t recognize me; in fact, he was playing games with me. So I thought could it really be? Is my heart deceiving me? He tickled my heart, but then left it there, in mid-air, without a home. So I did what I thought was best. I stuck my heart back in my chest, and I built walls around it. It did me good, but it did me bad. I stopped looking for you.Along the way the walls I built within were nothing compared to the walls that came crashing down around me. With my defenses destroyed the flood gates swarmed me. I was drowning. That spirit that I carried with me, I had felt that it left me. So I reached for something…anything that seemed it could rescue me. You weren’t there. So I thought anyone could replace you. Drowning and lost, lost I tell you, grasping at thin air. In darkness, I couldn’t see danger. But it was there, lurking all around me. But I could not see. I didn’t see that the serpent had snuck into my garden and tried to teach me lies. He tried to get me to doubt God. He tried to teach me new things that I didn’t know. He made me wonder for the first time if God was real and if His word was true. He used the word of God to trick me like the devil did when he tempted Jesus. But I wasn’t as strong as Jesus was. He tricked me.
The enemy came in like a flood…I washed up on shore bruised, beaten, hurt and torn- barely recognizable to myself. Jesus was walking on water and He called out to me. He asked me to come. I said “Lord, I no longer swim. I no longer trust. Where were you?” He told me He never left. That in the moments when I felt alone, He was still right there. He never left me even in moments when He had to turn away. I was hurting, but I ran to Him. I fell at His feet. Never in my life did I realize how much I needed Him. I was not as good as I thought. I needed a Savior. He showed me who I really was without Him, and I couldn’t stand to see it. He accepted me, cleaned me and forgave me. He forgave me first; I still hadn’t forgiven myself.
So there I was, saved by grace yet walking around with a dark cloud of regret and shame. I knew better. How could I have let this happen? How is it that I strayed so far? I was in darkness and didn’t know it, and I crucified myself for it. But prayer pulled me out. A loving God rescued me. While you were sleeping, He comforted me. He sent angels my way to guard and protect me. He gave me favor again, everything I touched was blessed. He sent people to me to surround me with love. In no time at all, my life was completely changed, because I surrendered to Him. I was saved before because of obedience (to my parents). Now I am saved because of total surrender. Now I understand why He came. Now I understand what He did. I learned all about love- what the bible calls love…It is patient and kind. So I wait…It keeps no record of wrongs. So I forget those things which are past and I press…It seeks the truth. So I set my mind above…It endures in every circumstance. So I don’t stay down because He is my strength…While you are sleeping, He is working on me…
A work in progress- I’m not there yet, but boy have I come a long way! When you see me, you won’t just see scars. When you see me, you won’t see hurt or betrayal. When you see me, you won’t just see pain. What will you see?…
Alluring beauty, intriguing mystery, a playful laugh, a pleasant smile, strength, courage and wisdom…and so much more…
When you’re refined in the fire, you come out as pure gold. I don’t look like what I’ve been through, but I will still tell you all about it. Because it’s my testimony…of how God loved me so He waited. He waited until I loved Him, until I fully embraced His love. He was patient throughout the process. It wasn’t always pretty, but He stayed. He stayed for the finish product. He stayed to see who He knew He created me to be.
I think when I’m ready He’ll wake you up lol.
Until then…sleep peacefully, my love. We have a surprise for you when you wake up.
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